You check around you for some sign.  A hint as to where it’s coming from.  Anything to tell you how bad it’s going to be.  Even if you can’t see a sign, you just know something’s coming.

Then it hits.  Maybe you had the benefit of some lead time, probably not.  You’re caught out and no matter which way you turn, you’re deep in it.  Try as you might, you’re going to have to endure it.

So you struggle to find cover.  Some way to pretend this storm has nothing to do with you.  It helps for a little while, but the storm weighs you down.  It starts to affect how you view everything.  This dark gloomy storm starts to be your dark gloomy filter, making everything seem dull, maybe even foreboding.  You feel trapped.  It seems to go on forever.  So you retreat further into yourself, trying to block it out.  Trying to get a grip.

Slowly, you start to accept the storm but stop reacting to it.  Suddenly, you can see clearly.  You think, “is the storm gone?”  A quick look around shows you dark storm clouds still surround you.  You might think you’re dreaming, but you’re not.  It’s the eye of the storm.  It’s the calm amid the tumult.  The center of your chaos.

It’s where you need to be.

While you keep yourself calm in the center of the storm, you can thrive. Not just survive.  Don’t panic when the storm hits.  They can be bad, but you’ll survive it–you’ve survived all that came before.  You know there’s no use running, you probably won’t be able to outrun it for long.  Keep your head about you–calm and focused.  The storm will rage.  You’ll let it rage.  You’ll be fine.

Remember: All storms eventually burn themselves out.

But why was I so comfortable swerving around her?  While consciously trying to find a way out from behind her there didn’t seem to be a good opportunity.  But when faced with colliding or moving, I was able to change lanes without thinking about it while making sure I didn’t create another problem.  There wasn’t enough time for me to consciously think through my options.  I must have learned the behavior at some point and just reacted.

I’ll admit it didn’t take me long to figure it out where I probably learned it.  When I was a teenager my friends and I often took secret trips into Boston (sorry Mom).  I’m pretty sure it was there I first learned to scan the traffic patterns around me.  Fifteen years of being a commuter probably sharpened the skill, but I’m pretty sure it was those impulsive trips into the city that set me on the right path.

Part of getting back to “who we truly are” involves understanding the influences that have made us “who we seem to be.”  They’re part of our back story, in the past.  It’s not worth judging whether they’re good or bad.  We just need to be aware of them and decide if what we learned is true to who we are or if it’s not.  Keep the things that resonate and feel right.  Getting rid of the influences that keep us from truly being who we are takes time and energy (just think about how many years you’ve spent practicing to think and act in that way.)  Being aware of these influences lets us start to sort out how they impact our thoughts and behaviors.

-kev

Photo courtesy Jennifer Maiser (Flickr)

Entering the hospital, I was so excited I went back to the labor/delivery section of the floor we had been at the day before.  (Sadly, I left the hospital about 4 hours before the baby was born.)  The nurses laughed when I explained and sent me on my way to the maternity ward.  At the door to the room I knocked very softly, not sure if mom and the baby were sleeping.  Waited a few minutes, then decided I hadn’t knocked loud enough.  Immediately family was in the room.  Our niece looked great, a little tired, but happy.  The baby boy was beautiful!

It’s not that I doubted he would be beautiful, but what followed was more than I expected.  My sister-in-law handed me the baby.  With him cradled in my arm, the most amazing thing happened.  Time slowed.  For the first time in a very long time, I was exactly where I was supposed to be at that moment.  All the stress, running, and general craziness of the day melted away.  I just sat with the baby for a while.

Moments like this happen so rarely (and seem to happen less often as I get older), that I’m incredibly grateful for my sleeping bundle of blanket and baby reminder of how important it is keep to life in perspective.

-kev

p.s. BravelyMe is a project of passion.  As it grows and evolves, I invite you to take this journey with us!

Popular new year’s resolutions are typically things we want to change in ourselves or our lives, and often noble things to pursue. But we go after grand visions, trying to make life altering changes in a statement. To see how effective this approach is, just go to the gym for the first few weeks in the new year. First week you’ll find a full gym, but each week after that you’ll find the number of people settles back to normal.

Research shows that setting goals/making resolutions makes us 10 times more likely to achieve them.  That’s good, right?  Yes, but just setting the goal isn’t enough.  For many of the things we want to achieve (losing weight, saving money, eating right, being more organized, etc.) we’re talking about changing habits.  Changing a habit means we need to make the right choices every day, until it feels natural.

I’m still not a fan of new year’s resolutions, but I am a fan of setting goals and making them explicit.  Whether you’re setting yourself goals or making a new year’s resolutions – make them explicit.

My goals (not just for the new year) include:

• Make better food choices through packing lunches and avoiding eating out (plus it saves money)
• Better monitor my blood sugar (at least twice daily)
• Get at least 40 minutes of exercise at least 4 times a week

I intentionally left off “losing weight” or “getting down to x pounds”.  I did it on purpose.  Making better food choices and getting exercise will take care of my weight.  The last thing I want to do is pick a random weight I want reach a certain number of days/months/years.  I’ve tried it and found it kills my motivation, so I’ve focused my goals on changing the habits/behaviors that influence it.  For me this is about relearning my habits to make it a new way of life.

What are your goals/resolutions?

Remember, don’t stop believing in yourself!