Why did I swerve so well? (The things that shape us.)
Driving home from work today was an adventure. With Spring in my veins and good music on the radio, I was ready to get home before the sun set. Stuck behind a car that varied in speed, barely reaching the speed limit, I tried to find a way around, but couldn’t find a way. Suddenly the woman slammed on her breaks. I swerved to miss her. From what I could see, she must have been frightened by a man standing 4 feet back from the road under a bus stop sign. As I passed her by, I realized she was holding the phone to her head and constantly looking down. Not a good idea in traffic.
But why was I so comfortable swerving around her? While consciously trying to find a way out from behind her there didn’t seem to be a good opportunity. But when faced with colliding or moving, I was able to change lanes without thinking about it while making sure I didn’t create another problem. There wasn’t enough time for me to consciously think through my options. I must have learned the behavior at some point and just reacted.
I’ll admit it didn’t take me long to figure it out where I probably learned it. When I was a teenager my friends and I often took secret trips into Boston (sorry Mom). I’m pretty sure it was there I first learned to scan the traffic patterns around me. Fifteen years of being a commuter probably sharpened the skill, but I’m pretty sure it was those impulsive trips into the city that set me on the right path.
Part of getting back to “who we truly are” involves understanding the influences that have made us “who we seem to be.” They’re part of our back story, in the past. It’s not worth judging whether they’re good or bad. We just need to be aware of them and decide if what we learned is true to who we are or if it’s not. Keep the things that resonate and feel right. Getting rid of the influences that keep us from truly being who we are takes time and energy (just think about how many years you’ve spent practicing to think and act in that way.) Being aware of these influences lets us start to sort out how they impact our thoughts and behaviors.
-kev
